By Joel Repic
Counseling the Sexual Addict
by Steve Gallagher
Pure Life Ministries, 2005
There are two distinct instances in my mind that highlight for me the seriousness of sexual dysfunction in modern day youth. First, I remember speaking with a nine year old boy from Aliquippa who had exhibited sexually-related negative behaviors in school. His parents asked me to try to talk to him, thinking he might trust me more and open up some about the situation. The nine year old realized he had done something wrong, but it was difficult for him to see why it was wrong. I remember this kid eventually just looking at me and saying very sincerely, “I can’t tell what’s right and wrong when it comes to this stuff.”
Secondly, I remember an eleven year old youth from my community who was hanging out at my house one day. Our conversation was primarily about “surface” topics (school, sports, etc.), until he very calmly and nonchalantly told me that he regularly views “nasty videos” on his computer. It was clear that he saw nothing wrong with the activity. He had no reason to think it was wrong.
Steve Gallagher in his book A Biblical Guide to Counseling the Sexual Addict believes that we have an epidemic on our hands in the United States. Our culture has been hyper-sexualized, and it is now extraordinarily easy to access the most depraved types of materials and experiences. I write this review from the perspective of one involved in positive youth development programs, and I can attest to the rampant sexual dysfunction in our society, particularly among youth of younger and younger ages. It is not uncommon for youth in our program (by youth, I mean first to seventh graders), to tell us of advanced sexual knowledge, viewing pornography, watching racy television shows, or even experimenting with certain sexual behaviors. Clearly, something is very wrong. Not only has our culture become sexually charged – our youth, even our youngest youth, are not immune to the filth of the culture that ultimately works to create a developmentally unhealthy experience in which women are objectified, pleasure is deified, and morality is vilified.
Often times, Christian social workers, counselors, and pastors are left at a loss in knowing how to address the problem thoughtfully and biblically. Gallagher’s book is a concise, practical guide in offering some assistance. Gallagher, a former sex addict himself, now directs Pure Life Ministries in Kentucky, a ministry dedicated to helping men and women find freedom from their addictions in Christ.
You will notice that Gallagher calls his book a “biblical guide,” and this is very intentional. His writing might seem too conservative for some. He is enormously distrustful of modern psychology and psychotherapeutic techniques which he believes place much too large an emphasis on emotional recovery. This causes him to come down hard on what are viewed traditional methods of recovery such as twelve step groups. Instead of these modern techniques, Gallagher believes the primary issue in the addict’s life is sin and the primary need in the addict’s life is true repentance. This seems to be in the same camp as Jay Adams’s nouthetic counseling techniques. Gallagher’s book assists pastors and counselors in reproving and guiding the addict toward genuine repentance.
Gallagher’s book might seem too condemning and hopeless if it weren’t for his clear belief in Jesus’ forgiveness and redemption. Some might accuse those in Gallagher’s counseling camp to be lacking in compassion and grace. I found the tone of this book, however, to be quite different from this. It is clear that Gallagher believes in the possibility of true restoration and reconciliation, and he is clearly compassionate toward the sinner. One gets the sense that Gallagher’s greatest joy in life is helping men experience true freedom in Christ. The many persons recovered from sexual addiction through his ministry attest to this fact.
The book begins with a general overview of biblical counseling as opposed to other theories of counseling. It then moves on to practical issues ranging from counseling sexually abused children to issues related to homosexuality to pastors who themselves become engrosses in sexual deviance. The book ends with a whole section on starting a discipleship group for sexually addicted persons. This section of the book is incredibly valuable for anyone who might be interested in this type of ministry, and its insights and practical guidance are valuable for any person who finds themselves working with sexual addicts.
Gallagher’s book is clearly geared toward counseling the Christian man or woman in bondage to sexual addiction. This provides many helpful insights for pastoral counselors. In Aliquippa, however, we find ourselves working with both youth and youth who have not yet professed Christ. In entering the world of youth who have not professed Christ, Christians must have a thoughtful way to speak to sexual issues. I finished the book wondering how some of Gallagher’s suggestions might be put to use when unbelieving youth bring up issues of sexuality.
The Church must not shrink back from the issue of sexual addiction. Unfortunately, few churches have the type of spiritual leadership or support to help men and women find freedom in Christ from sexual addiction. Instead, it this epidemic infects the church is simply hidden Sunday after Sunday. I mentioned at the beginning of this post how many youth I know who have been exposed to sexual sin and even participated in sexual addictions at a young age. I believe this generation has great potential to serve Christ, but I also believe we will have to holistically seek healing in the lives of this generation – including the area of biblical sexuality. First and foremost, this means the Church must become a safe and honest place where darkness and can be brought into the light of redemption. If it is not, people will just continue to hide sin. Gallagher’s book might seem overly dismissive of some counseling theories to some (I, for instance, have seen twelve step groups help people effectively; I don’t think they are all bad, nor are all modern theories necessarily bad), but his clear call to biblical solutions for this problem is refreshing and desperately needed. I highly recommend this short and easy read, and I hope it serves to empower the Church to offer the healing of Christ to a wounded world.
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